He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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