Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
