What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
