Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
