I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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