porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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