just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
