a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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