This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
