We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
