Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
