wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
