you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my phone needs a breathalizer
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
