I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
