I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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