using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
