Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
