walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
