I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
