...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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