I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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