The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Bring me that man meat
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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