I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
