i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
