when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
