if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
