Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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