I wanna passion pit in your ass
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
