Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
