going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
