I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
