Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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