Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
