I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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