just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
there's paper in my vomit.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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