I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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