Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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