she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
