Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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