haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
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