When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
