the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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