that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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