you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
