maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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