I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
