i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
