oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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