Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
