The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
